My Manifesto: You Are Not Your Fat

There are so many external influences that try to define who we are. Social media, friends, families, members of our community, advertising, where we live, strangers. They exert an influence, both positive and negative, to help us to see our place in the world. This is fantastic if there is nothing but positive reinforcement and encouragement, because if we hear the same message often enough, we believe it (this sometimes backfires…like when it comes to auditioning on live television for singing competitions…and someone has always been told that they are a beautiful singer when they are, in fact, tone deaf).

 The same goes for negativity. 

Growing up, and even into my adulthood, I was constantly defined by my body. My perfectly healthy, (mostly) perfectly functioning, body. My body with extra fat. My fat body. Both explicit and subtle messages from all of the above-mentioned sources – and more - reinforced the idea that, because I was fat, I was not worthy. Ultimately, not worthy of love. 

 And, of course, I believed it. 

 Thank goodness I was (am) intelligent with creative talent, otherwise I would have truly had no concept of my worth. The ingrained belief, however, that I was fat, therefore no good, led me down a path of all types of self-destructive behaviour, actions that would have likely been totally avoided if I had achieved a self-love and self-respect as an extension of the positive reinforcement that should have surrounded me. This is not about blame; this is about seeing where this negative message comes from so that it can be recognized, thwarted, laughed at, conquered, changed.

 I am grateful for this experience, because it has brought me to where I am today, with a deep appreciation of the imperfect perfection that is my body and all of the things it can do. 

I want to change the way we think about our bodies. While we cannot force others to change their views, nobody can touch that sacred space you have for yourself in your heart, unless you let them. So…don’t let them! Be so in awe, so grateful and so proud of everything that your body, mind and soul can do, no matter your body size or shape. 

What I believe is this: you are not your fat. You have fat. It is a physical feature of your body, not a personality trait. In my world, fat is a noun, not an adjective. I have fat, not I am fat. It is no more defining of who you are than the size of your ear lobes, the length of your fingers, the colour of your hair, skin, eyes. Fat has a role to play in the body, but deciding whether you are kind, intelligent, analytical, masterful in any chosen arena is not one of them. Somehow, it has been given that power, in western culture anyway. 

 Be grateful for what your body can do. Me, I have two arms and two legs that take me where I need to be and help me to create food for my family. I don’t need a machine to breathe. I can see a beautiful sunset with my eyes and hear the music I love, unchallenged. I have a very fortunate life by these measures, let alone all of the other ways I am blessed. Gratitude reminds us of the abundance of that which we have, instead of dwelling on what we might lack. 

Listen to the language you use to talk to yourself and about yourself and make sure you are kind. Fat doesn’t determine whether you are beautiful or ugly, just the way it doesn’t deserve the power to determine whether you love yourself, or not, because of its presence. There are plenty of actions and experiences that will challenge your belief in yourself throughout life; having fat in your body doesn’t need to be one of them. 

 I know that there are many different ways to measure health. Weight can present with real risks to your physical health, however we also need to include mental, emotional and spiritual health in this health jigsaw. And not how we look on Insta! I also know that balanced living, with wholefoods, sunshine, enough sleep, exercise, laughter, being with the people you love and time in pursuit of the things you love provide so much opportunity for optimal health. Much more than obsessing body image, disordered eating and overexercising in an attempt to attain an ideal that somebody else arbitrarily suggested. 

 Enjoy food and forget diets! Really…forget them! Any kind of program or regime that asks you to severely restrict your food intake, exercise excessively, or leads you down the path of disordered eating (low calorie, elimination of food groups, pedantically weighing portions, for example) is not healthy and can lead to a range of mental health and physical issues, with little long-term weight loss success. Food is a marvel and a blessing, not the enemy. It nourishes you, brings you together with your people and keeps you alive! Your body tells you what it needs; you just need to listen. Going to bed hungry is not what your body needs. Enjoying nutritious food prepared with love…that is what your body needs! And if you eat food that isn’t high on the list of nutritional value…enjoy it unreservedly! No point feeling guilty about it (for health’s sake, just don’t do it every day). Even better, get the best version of that food, so that it really becomes a decadent experience. Believe me, a full block of regular chocolate is not going to be more satisfying than an artisan, handmade piece of luxurious indulgence. In fact, the whole block will make you feel sick. The one (or two!) pieces of handcrafted chocolate will make you feel like royalty. 

 You are already perfect in your imperfection. Who you are is what the world needs, just as you are. You have so much to give to humanity – just take a peek into your heart, mind and soul for a moment. Imagine what the world would be like if you brought out all of that beauty for the world to see, on top of your outer beauty. Yes, you are beautiful, whether society tells you otherwise – whether YOU tell yourself otherwise. Just.The.Way.You.Are. Know that you are enough. You are beautiful and splendid.

I am committed to this attitude loss revolution. There is so much more to any of us than the way we look, or the space we occupy in the world. I want to exalt anyone who feels less-than because they have fat, because I know how much you have to offer this world. I want you to live your best life and achieve your full potential, in good health. Days, weeks, months…and years of happiness and fulfilment are lost to the pursuit of disliking and trying to change our perfectly imperfect bodies. Instead, we could be accepting our amazing bodies and spend our time doing, well, anything except buying into someone else’s version of who deserves to be loved, based on how they look. 

 I am committed to putting out the message of good health over good silhouette lines. I am a health professional and am passionate – professionally and personally – about actualising the full spectrum of your physical health, as well as mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. All totally achievable, no matter what your body looks like. Because you are so much more than just your physical appearance.  

 Know this always: you are not your fat. 

 Copyright Julie Brennan 2021